Friday 12 February 2010

We All Fall Down



...right??
Something weird happened last weekend.  I still couldn't tell you exactly how or why it happened, but it created one of the biggest messes I've ever had to clean up.  Yep...this is that kind of story! 
So...it was Sunday afternoon.  We'd spent it fairly lazily, reading the paper and puttering about, half-heartedly getting ready to go visit The Girl (more about that in an upcoming post) later that evening.  LoML's sister S dropped by for a short visit.  The three of us came into the kitchen and had tea and coffee and about an hour and a half of some good chat.  At some point--and I still don't know what I did!--I must have sort of leaned over behind me, possibly to open the kitchen door to let out Jack, our crazy Lab.  Whatever I did must have thrown me off balance, and before I knew it I was falling backwards!
The fall happened in slow motion;  I was sure I fell for at least a minute or two!  Okay, not really, but it sure seemed like it.  I could see it all happening, and expected to feel the wall behind me against my head, and I kind of braced myself for it.  But I didn't hit the wall.  This might sound like a good thing, but it wasn't.  Instead, my wheelchair just kept going backwards while my eyes got bigger and bigger as I realized I was goin' DOWN!  (I suppose this is why so many wheelchairs are equipped with anti-tip bars...but I'm a rebel and can't be arsed.)  Anyway, down I went.  I hit the floor, front casters left upright, spinning in the air.  
That's when the real excitement occurred.  
As I was falling I saw my feet come up in front of me.  Might have been funny, and kind of is now, if I hadn't seen the inevitable consequence of their trajectory.  There they were, my feet, right in front of my face, taunting me.  Then, as if in a fit of rage, they grabbed the edge of the kitchen table underneath which they usually sat so docile and obedient.  This was their chance!  They grabbed the edge of the table and overturned it with a magnificent sweep before they followed through on their path and landed, sort of dangling over my chair a couple of feet off the floor.  The table flipped up on its far two legs and teetered there for a moment...then fell.  It fell over on its side, the temporary imbalance proving too much for its weakened and wobbly legs.  It fell to the floor with a loud and resounding THUMP!...which was followed by a glassy CRASH!...which was followed by another sickening CRASH!  All of which was followed by a beat of silence...and then a small voice from the girl stuck in an overturned wheelchair on the floor:  "I'm sorry!"
The table had had three coffee mugs on it.  These were now smashed to pieces on the floor.  Coffee and tea dripped from the kitchen cabinets and puddled on the floor.  I had been burning a yummy-smelling candle in a jar;  it sat beside another unlit candle at the end of the table.  These were both now in bits on the floor, melted wax flung up at the walls like some weird monochrome Pumpkin Pie Spice piece by Jackson Pollock.  A few plates and glasses had been on the table, and they too joined the rubble on the floor, landing in several more pieces than they'd had when they began to fall.  Miscellaneous papers, a basket with pens and a few coins, remote controls, an iPod and two mobile phones...all on the floor.  And on top of all of that...the glass table top.  Yeah...you read that right.  The glass top of the table slid off after everything else had been thrown overboard, sealing the fate of anything that had survived the initial fall.  It brought the greatest crash yet, one that I could feel under my back as it rumbled through the floor.  
And then silence.
After a moment of disbelief and sheer gobsmackedness (yeah, yeah, not a word...who cares?), LoML and Sister S scrambled to help me up.  I was fine, not hurt in any way, only a bit shaken.  Likewise, they were both fine.  But we had a huge--and I mean HUGE!!--mess to clean up...ugh!  It was as if a meteorite had crashed through the ceiling and landed right smack dab in the middle of the kitchen, taking out anything in its path.  All of this due to one small moment when I lost my balance!

We did eventually manage to get nearly all of the glass and tea and coffee and candle wax and broken bits of cookery and everything else swept up.  There were a few casualties, yes;  two of the mugs that were broken were favorites that I'd had since my college days, and held some sentimental value.  But considering the scale of the carnage we were lucky it was only a few dishes and candleholders that were lost--and, of course, the glass table top.  It took a while to get the wax and dried coffee and soda off of everything, and I am still finding tiny shards of glass when I sweep.  I expect we'll find it for weeks, maybe months, to come.
I must say, as destruction goes, it was pretty impressive.  I mean, really magnificent!  I am perversely sort of proud of the degree of devastation rendered at the hands of...er...my toes.  
Anyway, this was a long way of introducing something on my to-do list:  shop for new furniture!  We weren't wild about the table we had in the kitchen, and had planned on buying a new one at some point anyway.  While the table itself survived the fall, the top didn't, and its already wobbly legs won't take much more abuse.  So we are in the market for some new kitchen furniture.  Now, I can't sit on a barstool.  They are just too high for me, and they provide endless frustration for me in bars and pubs.  But I wish I could.  I like the look of them.  I would love to put a breakfast nook with a couple of stools in our sunroom.  In fact, I've already found some really fabulous stools here!

Allbarstools.com has a great selection of...well...barstools!  There's no trickery here;  it's all in the name!  They have a wide range of styles and heights, and have barstools for every budget.  From the very affordable American Heritage Classic 24" Counter Stool and the ubiqitous style of the Wildon Home Alvadore 29" Bar Stool, both seen below...

The American Heritage Classic 24" Counter Stool is
priced very affordably at $30.95.


The Wildon Home Alvadore 29" Bar Stool
in Natural finish.


...to the sleek and polished design of the customizable Emeco Kong Counter Stool, there is truly something for everybody here.  Well...except for me.  Ahem.  






The Emeco Kong Counter Stool with Arms is made with an amazing 
one-piece construction process and has no connections in its design!
                    


I like the simplicity of this 24" Saddle Stool in Espresso.  It has three coats of an espresso chemveer catalyzed lacquer to give it this extra durable and beautiful finish.
This 2 Day 25" Winemaster's Stave Bench is made from 
recently retired oak wine barrel staves.
Whatever your decorating style, you are sure to find something here you like.  In fact, you'll probably find one or two or nine or eleven things you love!  Go check it out now, and happy shopping!

I'm off to find some anti-tip bars.  Grrr.

5 comments:

Spiralstyle said...

Sounds like a mess. Glad you are ok. Happy shopping.

Sam said...

oh my goodness gracious me!! That sounds like one hell of a crash!!! It really couldn't have been more spectacular could it!!?

Youngish said...

I’m sorry, what an ordeal!

Susan said...

Glad you are okay! I am on the hunt for the perfect dining room chairs. When UPS stops by, he always asks when to expect the next batch of chairs! Good luck in your search. By the way, I have done the bars tool thing. Not for me at all.

CountessLaurie said...

Oh my heck. I am glad you're okay!

(P.S. I became a follower and today, randomly, your older posts showed up in Reader, so I am doing a little catch up!)

Related Posts with Thumbnails